Talking yourself through mental roadblocks.
Starting out in freelance, I’ve driven myself with all the confidence in the world to feel like I’ve already hit the top of Everest and that anything that comes my way, while not a walk in the park, will at least not drain me of all positive energy. The reality is, of course, that self-doubt tries to talk you out of pursuing anything, leaving you wondering if you’ll ever be smart/talented/lucky/<insert excuse here> enough to do anything worthwhile in life that doesn’t involve waking out of a work coma when you’re 65, finding your life in its twilight years.
Well guess what? You Are Worthwhile.
Knowing this is not only important for having confidence in your talents or career, it’s extremely important for getting yourself through the moments in life that kick you while you’re down.
I wrote a while back in my 3rd Finding Focus post, that the most important thing was to just keep moving forward. When things got too tough, it was really O.K to back off for a bit as long as you get back to where you were and keep moving. Now I’m faced with the same mental situation in the business world.
While dreaming for so long that I could be working for myself, that there are hidden talents waiting to come out and (the part that most of us need) a solid cashflow to keep a roof over my head, I hadn’t really bothered to consider how to react when that scenario started to get realized. Now it is, doubt sits on my shoulder, whispering in my ear;
“There are better people out there doing this.”
“Shut up!”
“People wouldn’t pay for your second-rate talents”
“Shut up!”
“Dude, seriously? You think people would actually hire you?”
“SHUT UP!”
The fact is, self doubt saturates all our lives and we need to understand how we as individuals deal with it. Recognize how normal it is, make sure you acknowledge it and then push it to one side. I’m not advising you to ignore your inner self, but trust you to recognize limiting self-doubt, to ration doubt when someone tells you you can fly if you jump off a cliff.
I was told at a younger age “You know, I really wish you had more belief in yourself” and it was true, I had precious little. I’ve learned a great deal about myself over the last 10 years and know that it doesn’t matter how many times you fail, it’s how you understand the failure and just learn to move on.
Situations may dictate that nobody wants to buy my product, pay for my services, or thinks I’m capable enough to get the job done. These responses can be examined accordingly, so I can change the numbers until I find the combination that works. The goal of this post is to caution you against defeating yourself before you even start.
It’s not an easy roadblock to either understand or get through – only in hindsight after you ‘get it’, does it become beautiful simplicity. Learn your fears, talk to them, tell them you appreciate the input but by simply trying, that makes you worthwhile.
