Flyin' Shoes

As part of the restructure of my life, I’ve spent the last 3 years putting together the building blocks that have been missing for the 35 years prior. Well, of course there is always development going on but lets just say I hadn’t previously opened myself enough to become fully receptive to my own consciousness. No, I’m not going to power into a long diatribe about understandings of subliminal and background process that continue, even when you think you’re not paying attention. Those conversations are best enjoyed with multiple minds and heated exchanges.

Now I am receptive to my own desires, I’m able to direct energies to my vocation which has narrowed to travel, video and education. I still have some way to go to become the expert in my game but the voices directing me, keep informing that this is what I *should* be doing, so, I’m sticking with it. Following something you enjoy and believe in is an amazing way to feel that your life has a point. In this age of pseudo-enlightenment and 10-second consumption it’s hard to grasp our sense of belonging and ultimately, a desire that our life has not been wasted or in vain.

I would like to share the four things that have been paramount to both how I’m living my life now and how I’m steering myself toward the work I was born to do:

Draw a line in the sand
I never make New Year resolutions but as of late, I am marking public lines in the sand to ensure I achieve a task and keep moving forward. There are many books that advocate this practice and they are absolutely right – having a big public message that you’re going to do something means you have to get it done and there’s no turning back without unwelcome humiliation. It also stops you making false promises that you think will disappear if they’re kept to yourself.  Even if you don’t have anyone to speak your intent to, facing yourself in the mirror or writing a goal down is often enough inspiration to get on with it.

Act on intent
Ideas in your head are worthless unless they have an exit point into the real world. If you find yourself consistently saying ‘I’d love to do this but I need to get a website/business license/portfolio first”, then procrastination is hindering the explosion of your passion for the idea. The best time to do something is when it’s exciting, so go at it with gusto and worry about the minor details along the way. Sure you may need a website, but a splashscreen with contact info will suffice until you start to gain momentum with business. Yes, portfolios can be necessary but until you start doing some work, free or otherwise, you won’t have anything to put in the portfolio.

Don’t drown in the details
We can often get wrapped up trying to absorb a ton of information, to ensure we know as much as possible for marketing ourselves but take a minute to think; is 10% of 10 skills better than 100% of 1 skill? It could be that your jack-of-all-trades offering requires multiple talents but try not to learn too much before you need to and stick with what will get you launched.

Find your temple of thought
For me, this ended up being hiking. Whenever I’m stressed, finding it hard to think of life’s purpose, or need to open my mind to new ideas, I find a long steep hike and push myself hard. For others it’s often solitude, quiet and meditation – the catalyst doesn’t matter as long as you know what it is and can get ready access.

Let me tell you a story about my exercise plan…

After many years absent from decent exercise, I put a concrete effort getting in to great shape. After the two years it took me to get to something I’d consider reasonably healthy, I was blindsided by the comparisons to which my exercise goals paralleled my life goals and to some extent, wrote about them in my previous two ‘finding focus’ posts (part 1 and part 2). I started breaking down my goals, motives, challenges and focus, into sub-categories that my brain could visually manage and find some connection to the way I wanted to live my life.

In general, I lack focus when I can’t prod something or get instant visual feedback. I get bored easy when there’s no game-changing goal, or insight into mental boundaries and once I lose the urge, the downhill roll can never be reversed. It took me two years of trial and error, laziness, failure, getting knocked down and forcing myself back up again until I no longer wanted to be the invisible victim (of my own crimes) and to develop a solid survivor instinct, coupled with a winning mentality. I wanted to listen to myself and adapt to maximize its message. For the most part, I got there, and continue to head in that direction. Ever so often I fall down and sit there for a while but I’ll get back up fairly quickly and try again. Looking back on my early life what I perceive to be missing is the secondary essential of dialog when falling off a bike – OK, you fell, now, get back on and try again. It was always OK to fail before and failure be an end to a story but it shouldn’t be the end. Sure there are circumstances where doing the same thing will continue to produce failure but the point here is to learn and keep trying until it either works (and you don’t fail) or you learn enough to walk away and try something else in life. Walking away isn’t failing, providing you take your lessons with you and try again on something else. Keep going, no matter what.

During my downtime this year, I’ve slowly been mulling over ideas to drop myself in the waters of entrpeneurship and have been struggling to find the resonance I need within myself to really go for it. I’ve read a few books, been inspired by positive influence and even to a degree, know what ideas I’d like to try but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t getting off my ass and then it clicked – I needed to approach this in the same way that I did for running and exercise.

I’ve never been a runner and will probably never have enough focus to last a huge distance but after getting in shape, I decided to at least try and cover more than a 100 meter dash. I pushed and pushed and pushed myself until I could cover 5k without collapsing but found that I could only manage this once or twice; I didn’t know why I couldn’t keep this up, or continue to get better. After many months of deliberation, I knew I wasn’t listening to my body. When I finally opened my ears, I understood that my body that was letting me know it was too much, too soon and I needed to either back off, or change tactics. Because I was trying to do it all at once, I wasn’t gaining ground each time because I was just burned out. So, I backed off, started doing interval runs and I’m managing to cover the same ground, for longer periods of time, all due to switching to short steps instead of one long stride.

This is where I’ll be starting with business. Small steps. Trial and error. Pushing myself through boredom and distraction until I achieve something that I feel will be my difference to the world. I have many obstacles to overcome and fears to get through but during those moments, I’ll remember my exercise and running and the thing I always repeat in my head when I’m negative about pounding the road “Keep going, keep going. Slow down if you need to but never stop. Catch your breath and catch up. Keep Going“

I finally made it. After being inspired by an image in a book over fifteen years ago, a year’s delay and six months wait after booking, I reached Machu Picchu – but not without incident!

Coming out of the bathrooms after getting up at pitch-black 3:00am, I hit some warm soapy water that had been dumped on the grass verge, and flew straight off the path. I managed to hit a tree sideways after a six foot drop and felt (and heard) my ribs giving way. After shouting out for help and pulling myself back up on to the path, I was somewhat relieved to know I could still breathe and that my ribs weren’t sticking out of my body. Things weren’t going to be good for the rest of the hike though as even a little breath, sent searing pains through me. I did get it together enough to get packed up and my trusty hiking poles kept me upright, while we all waited for the gate to open and the final 5k stretch to begin.

Every step I took, was the most painful I’ve had in my life yet in some ways, it’s a confrontation with myself that I welcome. I’m always trying to find ways of learning about my own mind, how far I can push myself and how to gain focus when I think I don’t have any. With sweat pouring off me, unable to take deep breaths and flashes before my eyes for every step, I powered on, passing the few people that had made it through the gate before our group. If I ever doubted my own pain tolerance or my ability to do anything, this was telling me I had been wrong.

Finally after the insane steepness that leads up to the Sun Gate (Intipunku), the majestic morning sight of Machu Picchu lay below. As I stopped to reduce my heart rate for a moment, some Australian guy slapped me in the side on my damaged ribs, congratulating me on my arrival. I had to explain that he needed to not be so friendly with the injury but he just said ‘oh‘ and moved on.

There were a few others in the group that were not stopping and making a mad dash for the Guard House, to get the best view of the Machu Picchu ruins for when the Sun popped over the horizon. Not one to be happy staying with the crowds, I pushed on and eventually caught them up for what was the most perfect morning, with very few people to spoil the occasion. It always befuddles me how people can take a four-day hike to get to this place and yet be too busy chatting or getting in peoples camera views, to thoroughly enjoy the spectacle. I found the perfect spot for my video camera and set it up with uninterrupted view, enabling me to step back and soak up the air.

Too soon for me, the rest of our group turned up and it was time to head down into the actual ruins for the walking tour with our guides. As much as I’ve enjoyed the tours, at this point – especially with the injury – I would have preferred to stay where I was and spend a few hours meditating. Oh well, down we headed and as always, enjoyed a tremendously interesting and fully loaded discourse from Flavio.

The second guide had headed off by now, to go and pick up B from the train station. Her tour had been merged in to this last day of mine and we both met at the end of the walking tour, she drained from being ill for four days, and I hardly able to breath with my cracked ribs. We did hobble around together for an hour or so, before the heat of the day, the mosquitos, and the increasingly pushy crowds started to get to be too much. Off to the exit, a short stop for some ice-cream and the final bus around the rough switchbacks to Aguas Calientes.

Aguas Calientes is an interesting town, with the sole purpose of being an entry/exit point for those visiting Machu Picchu. The railroad cuts right through the middle of what could be considered the high street and the terrain has unique beauty amongst the hard rocks and deep greens. After hitting one of the restaurants for a beer and food, I picked up my porter bag that had been left in storage, and we both headed to the train station to just chill for the remaining few hours. Both feeling like crap at this point and neither of us needing to purchase any trinkets from the market.

The weather turned from blazingly hot to a lightening storm and torrential downpour, literally as the sky had turned to night. There was then some bizarre mix-up with the train, where the platform attendants gave conflicting reports that our carriage didn’t exist, then it did, then it was labeled different, and then we were bounced answers between two available carriages. Finally, one of the group had enough and got some kind of straight answer, so we were all making our way on to the train a short time after. Amusingly, the staff were trying to hold up the gutter of the platform with a broom handle as the rain was so heavy, it was pushing it downward and drenching anyone who wanted to alight to their seat. After just about everyone was on board, the driver finally worked out that if he moved the train a few feet, it would avoid the broken gutter;30 minutes to work that one out and even more delay to leave.

Finally off and the train was probably the most uncomfortable riding experience I’ve had in Peru! The seats were hard and you felt every bump. I couldn’t breathe much as it was and every movement, was like a knife in my spleen. Some basic boxed food was handed out and then an impromptu show of a kid with a goose puppet, followed by the two attendants putting on a fashion show of some Alpaca clothing. The only other distraction was the storm still raging outside and the co-driver hopping off the train, to manually crank the junction to switch tracks. Terminating in Ollantay, it was a mad rush to push through the sea of taxis shouting ‘Cusco! Cusco!‘ while attempting to find our bus.  With bus located, B commandeered seats at the front and I managed to get comfortable for the final ride back to the hostal in Cusco.

The sole reason for me coming to Peru in the first place was to get to Machu Picchu, with everything else considered an expendable detour. It’s been more than I thought it would be (not always on the positive side) but then, I’ve taken so much more away from here than I’d ever hoped. Something that’s enforced for me is that I need to travel a lot more to experience everything that defines humanity as well as shaping my own existence. It’s also just as important I recognized, that I don’t have to travel at all to have the inner dialogue I keep searching for – it’s always with me, whenever I need to speak to it, but I still need to keep working on the triggers.